


Moyashi

by texaspeach



Series: Ramen Toppings [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-30 23:03:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 6,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20455013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/texaspeach/pseuds/texaspeach
Summary: A collection of random Naruto drabbles, part 2.





	1. Guddle

**Author's Note:**

> May's words for this story! Hopefully I'll be done with this one quickly and be able to move on!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once upon a time, it took Rock Lee a very long time to catch fish.

**guddle - to catch (fish) by groping with the hands, such as under rocks or along a riverbank**

Chakra is the key to catching fish without a net or a pole. That’s the official line of the Academy. It can be used in different ways, of course: a raiton that shocks them into paralyzation or death, a katon that boils the water (and the fish), a burst of fast-moving water that stuns them.

But for those with little or no access to their chakra, it’s a much harder (and wetter) path to dinner.

Once upon a time, it took Rock Lee a very long time to catch fish. Subtlety just wasn’t in his nature, especially not after he became Maito Gai’s student. He slowly learned the best places to catch them, and he eventually became passable, but he was never able to make a huge pile of glittering scales like his classmates.

But then he started training with weights.

And when he was finally allowed to take them off, his pile was the biggest of all.


	2. Bombinate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinobi, the bee thinks (as much as a bee can), are a menace.

**Bombinate - to make a humming or buzzing noise**

Shinobi, the bee thinks (as much as a bee can), are a menace.

There’s a perfectly good meadow not far from its hive, covered in beautiful flowers, holding sweet nectar within. But this meadow is also known as Training Ground 64, and stupid shinobi are constantly there, crushing flowers underfoot while they fight each other uselessly. (For why would they fight if it wasn’t because they were in a life or death situation? Bees only sting if they have to, although that’s because they die soon afterward.)

But sometimes there’s a human with a veritable hive of insects in their skin, and then it’s safe to come out and get precious food to sustain their young. The hive-humans always make sure that the bees aren’t disturbed while collecting nectar. In return, all bees know where the hive-humans live, and there’s always a large hive located near the hive-humans’ hive, so honey is freshly available at all times.

Shinobi are a menace, but the hive-humans aren’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All hail the mighty Aburame, who are always forgotten.


	3. Vigesimal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm gonna be the youngest Hokage ever, dattebayo!"

**vigesimal - of, relating to, or based on 20**

“I’m gonna be the youngest Hokage ever, dattebayo!” Naruto shouts. He’s thirteen, young, brash, and so much like his mother it hurts. He looks just like his dad, true, but his manner is all Kushina.

“Maa, the Yondaime was 23 when he became Hokage, you know,” Kakashi replies, his tone deliberately disinterested as he turns a page in his book. He wants to tell Naruto all about his parents, how excited they were for him, how much they loved him, but all he can do is drop bits and pieces of useless trivia instead. But Naruto loves the Yondaime, even if all he knows of the man is that he sealed the Kyuubi inside him, so Kakashi is relatively sure this is something that will be stored away inside that blond head.

Naruto’s eyes become worshipful. “Really?” he breathes. At Kakashi’s nod, his large smile gets even bigger. “Well, I’m gonna beat even him, believe it! I’ll be 20!”

Well, if anyone can do it, it’ll be Naruto, who has all of his father’s drive and ambition and all of his mother’s fire and spirit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, Kakashi feels.


	4. Organon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto is intrigued.

**organon - an instrument of thought or knowledge**

Naruto is intrigued.

Kakashi-sensei and Sakura-chan have been disappearing. Never at the same time, but their absences overlap. He’s not sure what’s going on, but he’s gonna find out, dattebayo!

So he hides. Kakashi-sensei is too good, senses him every time he tries to follow him, so he’s left trailing Sakura-chan. It’s boring work - Sakura-chan is one of the head medics at the hospital now, alongside Baa-chan, and all she does is either paperwork (which, ew, and something he refuses to think about in regards to being Hokage) or surgeries (double ew, because he can cut a man’s throat without flinching, but watching someone cut into some else like that? No thank you.). So he’s left shadow clones in his place to deal with the boringness while he goes and does productive things, like eating ramen.

When she finally leaves, his clone dispels, making sure to leave him with the memories of a particularly gory surgery. Naruto grimaces, but gamely continues on. She’s headed toward the training grounds, where Kakashi-sensei already is, as another clone has already told him.

Wait a minute…

Disappearing at roughly the same time? Check.

Kakashi-sensei at the training grounds? Check.

Sakura-chan meeting him there? Check.

He gasps in outrage.

They’re totally training without him, dattebayo!

Huffing, he stomps after Sakura-chan.

(He never notices the very two people he’s been chasing after watching him from an alley, snickering, Sakura’s arms looped around Kakashi’s neck and his wrapped around her waist. He makes a few signs, and they disappear.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was hard, but I looked it up, and (very much simplified) "Organon" is the name of Aristotle's treatise on deductive reasoning? And Sherlock does deductive reasoning? So Naruto is now a detective?


	5. Avenaceous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And... you _all_ have the Sharingan?"

**avenaceous - of or like oats**

Tsunade blinks at the sight of all the children in front of her. “And… you  _ all _ have the Sharingan?” she asks faintly.

What looks like the oldest child, maybe ten, nods firmly. “Yes ma’am,” he says respectfully. It’s a breath of fresh air coming from an Uchiha, even if he’s only half.

Tsunade gives in and snags the sake bottle from a hidden compartment, taking a gulp and grimacing at the taste of plain water. If she didn’t love Shizune so much... 

“Do any of you know who your father is?” she prods. Not that it needs to be asked. All the boys have the same kind of hairstyle she’s come to associate with that damn Uchiha, even if he’s grown his hair out since then. All the girls… well, she doesn’t know what the brat’s mother looked like, but if they don’t take after her she’ll be very surprised.

Didn’t Naruto tell her once that one of Sasuke’s goals was to revive his clan…? This is a huge headache. Good thing Sakura got over her silly little crush on Sasuke years ago, or else there’d be a very dead Uchiha on their hands. The boy took “sowing his oats” a little too seriously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Complete and total crack and I make myself laugh so hard sometimes.


	6. Wilder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obito _hates_ Madara.

**wilder - to cause to lose one’s way**

Obito _hates_ Madara for doing this to him. He’d dreamed of making the world a better place, a place where peace would reign, there would be no wars, no fighting. He would do it all while wearing the Hokage’s hat, and everyone would look up to him and he would _be_ _someone_.

Madara twisted everything that Obito believed in, twisted it until the only reasonable plan was this stupid Infinite Tsukuyomi, that turned out to not even be Madara’s plan, but this bitch goddess. And now the world was on the edge of disaster, nearly ended, because of him. He was stupid enough to believe Madara’s lies, to not look underneath the underneath like he’d been taught, and this was the result.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... angst... to counter the crack of the last chapter...


	7. Camp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi stares at him. “...Gai,” he greets, giving a lackadaisical wave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... long time no see? Just looked and it's literally been like seven days less than a year since I updated this. Oops.

**Camp - something that provides sophisticated, knowing amusement, as by virtue of its being artlessly mannered or stylized, or self-consciously artificial and extravagant**

Maito Gai is in his Springtime of Youth, no matter that he’s now bound to a wheelchair after his Masterful and Beautiful Fight against a Worthy Opponent like Uchiha Madara. He doesn’t need legs to make it up Hokage Mountain!

“Rival!” he bellows, flinging the door to the Hokage’s office open. The newest secretary comes fluttering in after him, wringing her hands about his unscheduled visit and the new hole in the wall from the doorknob. She surely should relax and sit down before something terrible happens to her.

Kakashi stares at him. “...Gai,” he greets, giving a lackadaisical wave.

So Hip! So Cool! Even as Hokage Kakashi has not given up his Youthful Manner!

“Rival, I challenge you!” Gai crows. “A race up to the top of Hokage Mountain! If I lose I shall walk around the village walls on my hands 200 times!” He gives a Beaming Grin, making sure to give a Double Thumbs Up and adjust the small genjutsu he uses to make his teeth sparkle in the sunlight. Since it’s only Kakashi who can see his face, he doesn’t bother to add in the rainbow. This time, anyway.

“Three two one go!” Kakashi says, and is gone from his desk before Gai can even blink.

Gai manfully blinks back tears of joy and whirls out the room, down the stairs, and into the street before the poor secretary can recover from her boss’ disappearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am aware that Gai's use of genjutsu is a bit suspect, but whatever. I can totally see him using what little talent he has in it to make his teeth sparkle and rainbows appear. Also, barely edited.


	8. Blossom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did you know the brain will start to die within thirty seconds of the heart stopping?”

**blossom - to flourish; to develop**

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the ground split in two, courtesy of a stomp of Sakura’s foot. Madara stumbles straight into Naruto’s flying kick and just barely avoids Sasuke’s sword, bending almost impossibly to let it soar a millimeter above his nose. Kakashi sees a chance and activates the Chidori, lunging forward with all the speed he possesses.

But Madara wasn’t one of the only people who could go toe-to-toe with Senju Hashirama for nothing. One moment he’s there, the light of the lightning reflecting in his mad eyes; the next, he’s ten feet away, kicking Naruto away while forcing Sasuke back with a brace of kunai that the younger Uchiha just barely deflects.

Then, there's the unmistakable sound of tearing flesh. Madara chokes, raising a hand up to his chest where a fist-sized hole has appeared. There’s still a fist there, grasping what is definitely a human heart.

“Did you know the brain will start to die within thirty seconds of the heart stopping?” Sakura’s voice is conversational as she retracts her arm through Madara’s chest. The muscle is still delicately held in her hand as she moves to face him. “If it were extremely cold, you might last a bit longer, but…” She shrugs, holds the man’s heart in front of his face, and then drops it on the dusty ground. It hits about the same time the man himself does.

Madara twitches in his death throes. Sasuke quickly brings up a burning black flame to incinerate the body, but he’s keeping only a peripheral eye on it as he and the other two members of Team Seven stare at Sakura.

“What?” she asks testily. “He was underestimating me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I looked this up and my husband was legit worried about why I was looking it up in the first place. Also, cheesy in that it's Sakura doing the blossoming, but hey, I couldn't help it. Also NO I DIDN'T STEAL THIS IDEA FROM HUNTERXHUNTER WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT


	9. Perspicacity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto isn’t stupid, but civilians are.

**perspicacity - keenness of mental perception and understanding; discernment; penetration**

Naruto isn’t stupid.

His birthday is October 10th.

The Kyuubi attacked the village on October 10th.

The villagers all ignore him at best, hate him at worst. He can’t even leave his apartment on his birthday - he did that once and escaped the mob only because Inu-nii swept in and saved him from the rocks being thrown.

He doesn’t  _ think _ he’s the Kyuubi - again, he isn’t  _ stupid _ . The seal on his stomach, for all its complexity, looks a lot like the seals on storage scrolls. It’s to keep something in, but that’s all. He’s like… like the sheath to the sword, or whatever.

But civilians are stupid and they think he’s the Kyuubi. So they’re  _ really _ stupid, treating him like dirt. If he actually  _ was _ the Kyuubi, why would they do things like this? He’ll get older, more powerful, and then what? If the Kyuubi is as bad as everyone says it is, it would absolutely demolish anyone and everyone who treated it badly. All these people, poof! Gone in an instant.

Naruto isn’t stupid, but civilians are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But seriously, if you thought the Kyuubi was forced into the shape of a little boy, why on earth would you antagonize it?


	10. Popinjay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke hates this mission with a passion.

**popinjay - a person given to vain, pretentious displays and empty chatter**

Sasuke hates this mission with a passion. Not as much as he hates Ita- that man, of course, but every extra day this mission stretches out, the hatred inches that much closer.

Truthfully, he’s not quite sure why they’re even here. An escort mission for some lord isn’t exactly something a genin team should be doing, right? He’s confident in his own abilities and slightly less so in the dobe’s, but Sakura’s fighting skills are… well, nearly nonexistent. Sure, she’s got really good chakra control, but what good does that do when she flinches at the thought of breaking a nail?

...he will admit that her frivolous pastimes are helpful with the idiot they’re escorting though. They’re currently talking about the best lotions to use for getting rid of unsightly blemishes, but it’s wandered as far as where the best silks in Fire Country come from (apparently the Harunos are textile merchants - who knew?) to extremely pricy jewelry to even the best brand of nail polish. It’s all inane chatter, boring Sasuke to death, but at least it means he doesn’t have to deal with pointless conversation that doesn’t help him get stronger in some way.

Not that he’ll tell her that, of course. Maybe he’ll let her put her bedroll next to his or something for one night. That should be enough, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow Sasuke, what a way to show your gratitude.


	11. Motte

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As captain, he could force them to keep going.

**motte - a grove or clump of trees in prairie land or open country**

The trees spring out of nowhere, as unexpected in Grass Country as they would be in Wind Country. Tenzo knew they were there - the Mokuton running through his veins alerted him to the copse miles earlier - but the rest of his team slow down cautiously. They can’t hear what he can, the trees whispering about the lack of any other human, shinobi or otherwise.

He would go through them as quickly as he was running through the grass. As captain, he could force them to keep going. In ROOT, he would have, uncaring of his squad’s feelings on the matter. (Not that they’d have had feelings. It’s the principle of the thing.)

But he’s not Kinoe anymore, and he won’t do that to his teammates. His flicks his hand, signaling to slow down and spread out, and they creep through the motte like only Konoha nin can do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw, look at Tenzo, all grown up and thinking about others' feelings! Also, super short, but alas, it is what it is.


	12. Mother Wit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The smell of roasting flesh isn’t pleasant, but the twin cries of surprise and pain are pretty satisfying, if she’s being honest.

**mother wit - natural or practical intelligence, wit, or sense**

Green eyes narrow as she approaches the Valley of the End. Sakura can’t see the boys yet, but she knows they’re here. The cliffs and ground show signs of the Rasengan and there’s charred places where Sasuke’s Raiton jutsus missed their target. She can feel them too, chakra worryingly low but still alive.

She practically stumbles over them. They’re laying side-by-side, staring at the sky and talking in low voices, not even trying to continue their battle. They’re at peace with each other.

Not that she notices that. There’s blood everywhere, practically pouring from their missing arms.

Naruto sees her first. “Sakura-chan!” he calls, raising his remaining arm.

“What the fuck?” she shrieks back at him, landing on her knees between them. She’s kneeling in the puddle of blood, but she doesn’t care as she places green-glowing hands on both their shoulders. She can feel just how low they are on blood. There’s no way for her to replenish it and it’s practically impossible to close up the veins and arteries without some sort of surgical instrument or bandages or _ something_, but she’s out of everything.

Her lips firm. Before either of them can do more than blink at her, she breathes out two low-powered Katons. The smell of roasting flesh isn’t pleasant, but the twin cries of surprise and pain are pretty satisfying, if she’s being honest.

“You idiots!” she yells, checking their cauterized stumps. Naruto is dramatically clutching his shoulder and moaning in pain. Sasuke is paler than usual, which is saying something, and he’s glaring at her something fierce. “You idiots,” she says again, softer, and her voice catches. “What were you thinking?”

Naruto doesn’t see the tears threatening to fall, but Sasuke does. The glare softens. He lifts his hand and cups her cheek, swiping his thumb to catch the drops. “We weren’t thinking,” he admits. He grimaces. “Did you really have to do that, though?”

Sakura doesn’t let on how her heart races at the touch, grinning savagely down at her idiot teammates instead. “Not like I have anything else,” she points out. “It was practical.”

“Practical my ass! Sakura-chan!” Naruto whines.

She rolls her eyes and slaps her hands down on their shoulders again, numbing the pain. Anything to keep from hearing them whine on the way back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ignore how sappy Sasuke is it's the blood loss and also good on you Sakura for not letting him see how much you still like him


	13. JOMO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miss the assassinations of innocent people? The annihilation of entire families? The killing of other shinobi fighting for their village the same as he did?

**JOMO - a feeling of contentment with one’s own pursuits and activities, without worrying over the possibility of missing out on what others may be doing**

“Don’t you miss it?”

“Miss what?” Kakashi asks, spinning around in his (very comfortable) chair.

Naruto waves his hands. “Missions!” he exclaims. “Going out into the field! Fighting!”

The pile of paperwork stacked precariously on the desk teeters dangerously as the blond gesticulates. Kakashi ignores it for the Icha Icha in his hands. It’s almost quitting time, anyway.

“Not really,” he admits.

Blue eyes go wide. “Really?” Naruto demands.

Miss the assassinations of innocent people? The annihilation of entire families? The killing of other shinobi fighting for their village the same as he did?

“Nope,” he affirms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no Kakashi I wouldn't miss that either


	14. Expatiate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Very few people know that Jiraiya is Konoha’s spymaster.

**expatiate - to move or wander about intellectually, imaginatively, etc., without restraint**

Very few people know that Jiraiya is Konoha’s spymaster. Between his loudly proclaimed alliance with Mount Myoboku and his perverted tendencies, no one has ever thought twice about him showing up in whatever village he chooses.

Obviously it’s for more inspiration for his books. It’s only practical to research in the most perfect places, after all, and the most perfect places just happen to be in hidden villages. The most exemplary feminine forms are there, after all, and it’s amazing how much confidential information is gossiped about in onsens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jiraiya, you whore. You can't fool us.


	15. Consent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sensei…” Naruto whines. “Can we please see your face now?”

**consent - to permit, approve, or agree**

“Sensei…” Naruto whines. “Can we please see your face now?”

Team Seven is sitting in Sasuke and Sakura’s small living room. Sasuke is in the village for a few weeks, taking a break from his search for redemption, and he has some interesting stories. Stories from the hospital are never boring, and Naruto being groomed for the Hokage always has some sort of amusing anecdote pretty much daily.

Kakashi debates the request, not for the first time. More people have seen his face than his cute little genin think - ANBU wasn’t exactly keen on letting people keep their security blankets during training. But outside of ANBU, there aren’t too many. But these three are practically his own children at this point, and it’s not that unreasonable a request.

Deciding he’ll get a kick out of Naruto’s expression if nothing else, Kakashi pulls his mask down to pool loosely around his neck.

Naruto’s eyes bug out. Sakura gasps in shock. Sasuke though… Sasuke’s eyes narrow as he studies his teacher. Kakashi suddenly gets a very bad feeling.

“You fucker,” the Uchiha announces, his eye turning red. The smell of ozone starts to emanate from his corner.

Kakashi starts sweating. “Maa, Sasuke, that’s not a nice thing to say to your beloved teacher, now is it?” he says.

“Teme?” Naruto asks.

“He was Sukea,” Sasuke growls. The ozone grows stronger.

“What?” the other two yelp. Sakura stares at him, then lets out a growl of her own. She cracks her knuckles menacingly.

Nope, Kakashi’s getting out of here. “Oh dear, I just remembered I have a black cat to save from walking under a ladder,” he says cheerfully, and shunshins out before any of his cute little genin can try to kill him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You done messed up A-a-ron.


	16. Whataboutism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s yet another Kage summit, and yet again the other three Kage are too busy bickering about past hurts and grievances to work toward the continuation of the fragile peace since the near-end of the world.

**whataboutism - a conversational tactic in which a person responds to an argument or attack by changing the subject to focus on someone else’s misconduct, implying that all criticism is invalid because no one is completely blameless**

“Your incursions into Water Country will not be tolerated!” Terumi Mei says, banging a fist on the table for emphasis.

“Oh, but Kiri nin ‘accidentally’ instigating a fight that left one of our fishing towns in ruins is allowed? I don’t think so, Mizukage-_sama_!” A’s mustache is trembling in fury.

The Tsuchikage harrumphs. “Like you’re one to talk,” he points out grouchily. “I had to do a great deal of damage control after your shinobi came into Iwa.”

Naruto and Gaara exchange weary glances. It’s yet another Kage summit, and yet again the other three Kage are too busy bickering about past hurts and grievances to work toward the continuation of the fragile peace since the near-end of the world. Why couldn’t they just put everything behind them, like Konoha and Suna did?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, well, the other three Kage aren't jinchuuriki. Or past jinchuuriki.


	17. Alameda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madara was… impressed, though he’ll never admit as such out loud.

**alameda - a public walk shaded with trees**

The village is coming along nicely, Madara thinks. It’s more thanks to Tobirama than anything - as children, Madara and Hashirama had never gotten much further in their planning than what amounted to about a thousand parks and a big house everyone could share. Childish, yes, and even more so considering how quickly battle had aged them, but it was a dream. Dreams could be as frivolous as one’s imagination could get.

But the moment the Uchiha and Senju had met to discuss building the village, Tobirama had literally dumped an armful of scrolls on the table. All of them were covered in blueprints and layouts and ideas for laws and an academy where all children could go to learn without getting thrown out into the battlefield before they were ready. Madara was… impressed, though he’ll never admit as such out loud.

The roads are set in a grid. It reminds the Uchiha of a search pattern, but it makes sense. It’s easier to find places and streets in such an orderly place. It’s also much easier to defend from attacks when there aren’t nearly so many nooks and crannies an enemy could hide in, even with the massive trees bordering the main thoroughways. Any shinobi looking to hide in one of those would probably find himself speared by the trees’ roots before they could attack anyone anyway; Hashirama poured so much of himself into them that Madara is surprised they aren’t walking and patrolling the village already.

Now that’s a thought, he thinks, and goes looking for Tobirama.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you imagine shinobi Ents?


	18. Jockey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke and Naruto’s relationship is… odd.

**jockey - to manipulate cleverly or trickily**

Sasuke and Naruto’s relationship is… odd.

At times, they’re at each other’s throats. Their competitiveness knows no bounds. If it looks like one will learn a jutsu before the other, the second will attempt to sabotage the first’s efforts. The taijutsu matches are underhanded and downright dirty sometimes, not that Kakashi disapproves. Honor is for samurai, and shinobi should use any tactic they can to achieve their mission. (Except sacrifice their comrades, obviously, but he rather thinks that goes without saying.)

But then there are other times, times when Kakashi will show up an hour before their scheduled meet-up and hide in a nearby tree to see what they choose to do with their extra time. (It’s all part of his cunning plan, to let them figure out they should be working on things they don’t need his help with. So far, all they do is stand on the bridge and bitch about their sensei’s punctuality.)

These times, before Sakura reaches the meeting place, their relationship is almost completely opposite. Sasuke lets Naruto lean on him, even let him fall asleep once on his shoulder once, and the look he shot the blond couldn’t be classified as anything but “fond.” Of course, as soon as Sakura is within sensing distance for the genin, he shoves Naruto off with an irritated “don’t sleep on me, dobe!”

Interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not that time travel would be Kakashi's first leap of logic.


	19. Buckram

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hashirama really doesn’t understand why the Uchiha are… well, the way they are.

**buckram - stiffness of manner; extreme preciseness or formality**

Hashirama really doesn’t understand why the Uchiha are… well, the way they are. They put so much emphasis on their social interactions it’s ridiculous! Madara is obviously the odd one out even as the clan head, what with his flailing and screeching when he gets embarrassed. Almost every other Uchiha is overbearingly, unfailingly polite and... not demure, exactly, but certainly soft-spoken. It makes Hashirama want to do something completely out of line, just to get more of a reaction than a single raised eyebrow.

(What Hashirama doesn’t know is that the rules governing clan interactions are for the clan’s own good. The Uchiha are known for their fierce love of their precious people. But that fierceness in one emotion transfers to all others, positive or negative. Better to keep a reign on themselves than blow up the compound during a fight when tempers run high.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cue human train wreck!Uchiha clan in general.


	20. Scaturient

**scaturient - gushing; overflowing**

The human body has a great deal of water in it, as Tobirama demonstrates one fateful day.

He’s nine, on a courier mission. The message has been delivered and he’s on his way home. He isn’t that far away from Senju territory, but the shinobi who’ve been following him for the better part of a day are now closing in, several pulling ahead to surround him before he can reach safety.

More fools them, he thinks, aware of the water nearby. He stops, makes a few hand signs, and _ pulls_.

There’s a sudden scream, a rather nauseating splat, and the sounds of swearing.

Tobirama doesn’t stop, but makes the same signs again, pulling the water straight out of the next hapless victim. He can hear the choking as liquid pours out of his enemy’s throat and onto the forest floor. It’s disgusting, and it’s something that he’s never told another soul he can do, especially his father. He has no love for fighting, would much rather experiment and design new jutsu and learn everything about everything, but he doesn’t have a choice. So he’s bent his natural inclinations to war, and this is what he’s come up with. Something to be used as a last resort, for when he’s alone with no backup, no help on the way. Butsuma would make him use it during battle, and that’s something he wouldn’t be able to stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a serious note, I've always wondered about this. If blood is made more than half water (again, I looked this up and my husband looked at me askance), then theoretically one can waterbend with blood, right?


	21. Stellate

**stellate - like the form of a conventialized figure of a star; star-shaped**

'Sealing is so cool!' Naruto thinks as he inks another variation on an explosive seal. This one should be less explosive and more smoky, if he’s got the lateral lines done right. At least the seals are useless until he puts chakra into them, or else he probably wouldn’t have an apartment anymore. Nothing would save him from having to live on the streets then, not even the henge he used to get into the library in the first place.

With his recently perfected henge ability, he was able to get into the library for the first time ever. Still wary of asking any adults for help, he wandered in and amongst the shelves, overwhelmed by the sheer number of books and scrolls. How anyone could read all of these in a lifetime was beyond him. He’d originally come in to see if there were any books on pranking - he’d done them all, and more than once at this point. People were starting to expect them, and that just wasn’t right.

But he’d gotten lost in all the tall shelves, and since he wasn’t about to ask anyone for help, he just wandered until he found a dusty little alcove with a bunch of scrolls that were so old the twine keeping them rolled was fraying. When he pulled one out, curious about the contents, the twine snapped and the entire scroll unfurled. It wasn’t large, but it was chock full of pictures and step-by-step instructions on how to make a storage seal. Interested and completely diverted from his original plan, he checked it out and took it home.

He neglected all his schoolwork in favor of the scroll. It was so easy! And there were so many different ways you could change it from one type of seal to the next! It could be a circle or an oval or six- or even eight-sided star shape, and each shape helped direct the energy in a certain way to make the seal do what it was supposed to do. It was super complicated, even more than the math homework Iruka-sensei gave them, but unlike the math, Naruto understood this almost instinctively. Just like he knew when Teuchi-jiji was making his special batch of miso ramen, or days when he just knew he shouldn’t go out on the streets or else risk something bad happening, he knew sealing. He wonders, maybe, did he get this knack for sealing from his parents?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heavy-handed? Maybe. Do I care? Nope.


	22. Self-Possessed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama prides himself on his control.

**self-possessed - having or showing control of one’s own feelings, behavior, etc.; composed; poised**

Tobirama prides himself on his control. Control of body, mind, chakra, it doesn’t matter - control is his most valuable asset and has been since he was old enough to understand that Hashirama and Butsuma would never see eye-to-eye. He had to learn it, to prevent Hashirama from being forced to become the Senju’s perfect soldier. He would have died, withered like the plants he loved so much, if Tobirama hadn’t distracted Butsuma with his own prodigious skills.

But the village has been built and the clans are mingling (mostly) peacefully. Hashirama is practically floating as he watches his dream come true around him. Even Madara isn’t as tightly wound as he was at the beginning, though Izuna’s recovery seems to have more bearing on that. Everyone is settling in fine.

Except for Tobirama. He’s had to be in control of everything for so long he can’t remember how to do anything else. He can’t let go. And so he throws himself into his work. He drafts and revises laws, he plans more infrastructure, he experiments with jutsu to help the village prosper, he trains for hours. He can’t stop, because if he stops then what will he do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same, Tobi. Same.


	23. Overmorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'The kid’s a jinchuuriki like you, idiot.'

**overmorrow - the day after tomorrow**

Naruto can’t sleep. Kakashi-sensei allowed them to enter the chuunin exams! He really thinks they can do it!

_ Or he’s trying to teach you a lesson. _

He ignores the Kyuubi’s voice. The stupid fox has been more vocal since meeting that Gaara kid. Naruto can admit that there was something off about him, but that’s no reason for the fox to be so freaked out.

_ The kid’s a jinchuuriki like you, idiot. _

“What?” Naruto’s arms flail as he nearly falls out of bed. He forgets his determination to ignore the fox in light of this new information. “He’s like me?”

There’s a disdainful chuckle.  _ He has Shukaku sealed in him, _ the fox explains.  _ Which explains why he’s bat-shit crazy. Shukaku always was a few tails short. _

Naruto frowns as he snuggles back down into his blankets, contemplating this new information. He won’t see the redhead until the day after tomorrow, during the first test of the exams. Maybe he can talk to Gaara then and see what exactly the fox means by “bat-shit crazy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So overmorrow is like? Really hard??


	24. Proselyte

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Admit it! Ramen is the best!”

**proselyte - a person who has changed from one opinion, religious belief, sect, or the like, to another; convert**

“Admit it! Ramen is the best!”

Silence from his companion.

“Teme, ramen is way better than anything else in the world, believe it!”

A roll of dark eyes. “Dobe, shut up. You’re scaring the wildlife away. We’ll never get to eat at this rate.”

Naruto settles down with a pout. “Ramen is amazing,” he mutters, but shuts up when the dark eyes turn into bloody pinwheels and returns to scouting for game to bring back to the campsite.

(Honestly, Sasuke thinks, ramen isn’t  _ that _ bad. But like hell he’s telling that to Naruto.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could I have gone more serious? Yup. Did I want to? Nope.


	25. Hermitage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madara in a cave

**hermitage - any secluded place of residence or habitation; retreat; hideaway**

Madara has been down here so long he doesn’t even know what year it is anymore. He’s been hidden away with the Gedo Mazo, only alive due to the power within the statue. Zetsu comes and goes, bringing him information about this third war between villages, but that’s all the company he has. (It hurts to think that there have been more wars, but isn’t this why he’s planning the Infinite Tsukuyomi? To put an end to all of it?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think this could have gotten much shorter.


	26. Seriatim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi’s life has been one disaster after another.

**seriatim - in a series; one after another**

Kakashi’s life has been one disaster after another.

His mother died in childbirth, leaving his father unstable and grieving.

His father killed himself, leaving Kakashi to find his body at just six years old.

His genin team died, both by his hand as far as he’s concerned.

His mentor and wife died while Kakashi was on duty.

He ignored Naruto’s plight knowing full well that he could have gone against the Sandaime’s wishes. He’s a shinobi after all; sneaking around is what he does best.

The first team he allowed himself to teach broke apart: one a deserter, the other two finding better teachers soon after.

So really, he thinks, staring at the man claiming to be Obito, this is just par for the course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sad Kakashi is sad.


	27. Decoration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hat is ridiculous.

**decoration - a badge, medal, etc., conferred and worn as a mark of honor**

Minato stares at the hat on the desk. He’s pretty sure it’s staring back at him.

The Hokage robes are perfect - they have just the right snap and flare when he walks, making him look intimidating and in control of everything. He loves the robes.

But the hat is ridiculous-looking and everyone knows it. They talk about the transfer of “the hat” as a solemn occasion, but how the hell is he supposed to keep a straight face when this cloth monstrosity is on his head? The silhouette of his shadow leaves no illusion as to what he looks like when he does deign to wear it.

Kushina would look amazing in it, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did Kishimoto choose that particular design anyway?


	28. Otiose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sai has never been allowed to just sit and be.

**Otiose - being at leisure; idle; indolent**

Sai has never been allowed to just sit and be. During his time with ROOT, he was always training, making his jutsu ever better and trying to keep up with older, more experienced members without getting beaten into the ground and stuck in bed for the next three days while a commander came in to lecture him about not being good enough. If he wasn’t training, he was on a mission. If he wasn’t on a mission, he was sleeping or eating, always being watched by older ROOT members to make sure he wasn’t becoming something “bad.”

Now, he can sit in the office of his and Ino’s home and do what he wants. He can paint, or read a fantasy novel, or just breathe in the smells of spring. He can stay in bed with Ino all day if he really wants to. (Which he’s done, and it was amazing. Not just the sex, though of course that’s always good, but the ability to just lie there and wrap himself around her without worries of beatings and lectures and threats of death for not doing anything to better himself for Danzo-sama’s sake.)

Life is much better as a free man, even if he’s still getting the hang of smiling like he means it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone needs Sai feels.


	29. Equity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi tries his best, but it isn't easy.

**Equity - the quality of being fair and impartial; fairness; impartiality**

Kakashi tries his best to be fair to all three of his students, to treat them all the same, but it’s hard. Sakura doesn’t really care about being a kunoichi, or maybe just doesn’t see the reality of what being a kunoichi means. She sees marrying her precious Sasuke-kun and settling down and popping out enough Uchiha babies to repopulate the clan on her own as the extent of it, and Kakashi is at a loss about changing her outlook.

Naruto is difficult as well. Not only does he bring up memories and guilt Kakashi would rather leave buried, but he was so sabotaged during his Academy years that it seems like  _ everything _ he does is wrong. He’s made it work for him, but all that means is that Kakashi has to train him out of the bad habits and into the new ones. That will take years of dedicated work and Naruto just doesn’t have that kind of attention span.

Sasuke… Sasuke reminds Kakashi of himself. Closed off, cold, arrogant, he’s all of Kakashi’s worst personality quirks combined. And yet, maybe because of this parallel, he’s also Kakashi’s… well, “favorite” is too strong a word - he doesn’t particularly like any of them at this juncture - but the one he’ll most likely be able to stand the most. The boy’s chakra is suspiciously staticky, and if he’s lightning-natured like Kakashi thinks he is, he’ll have a great deal more to teach the Uchiha than the other two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But did you, Kakashi? Did you really?


	30. Foment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zabuza is hardly the kind of man to lead a rebellion.

**foment - to instigate or foster (discord, rebellion, etc.)**

Zabuza is hardly the kind of man to lead a rebellion. He isn’t doing this for Kiri, for glory, for recognition. He doesn’t care about any of that. He doesn’t care about anything, really. Not after his genin exam where he killed all of his classmates. (People call him a demon for that - no one talks about the fact that after he did that, the practice was disbanded. And if it killed off any lingering kindness or softness in his soul, so be it.) He tried to kill the Mizukage for power, not because he saw himself as some hero of the people, there to make everything sunshine and roses.

Terumi Mei using him as some sort of figurehead is laughable. Being the first person to try and assassinate Yagura doesn’t mean he wants to be used as a paragon of the rebellion or something.

But try telling Mei that, the bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But Zabuza, you're so followable!


	31. Persiflage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shisui is Itachi’s best friend. He trusts him with his life, with Sasuke’s life. He loves him with all the fervor of a dearly beloved brother.
> 
> That doesn’t mean he won’t take the opportunity to gut him if this mission goes on any longer.

**persiflage - light, bantering talk or writing**

Shisui is Itachi’s best friend. He trusts him with his life, with  _ Sasuke’s _ life. He loves him with all the fervor of a dearly beloved brother.

That doesn’t mean he won’t take the opportunity to gut him if this mission goes on any longer.

“But Itaaaaachiiiiii I’m so bored!” the teenager whines, sounding so much like Sasuke that Itachi has to suppress the urge to look around for his little brother.

“Shisui, we are on watch,” he replies quietly, choosing to keep his eyes closed and keep his senses open for any hint of a disturbance. “It isn’t supposed to be fun.”

“Um, yeah, it could be if you weren’t such a stick in the mud!” Shisui counters, flopping against the trunk of the tree they’re perched in. Below, the rest of their squad is asleep in their bedrolls. Even Kakashi is sacked out after overusing his Sharingan yet again.

The younger Uchiha suppresses a sigh. “And how would you go about ‘having fun’ while on watch, cousin?” he asks blandly. There’s a subtle rustle of leaves about forty yards to the southeast that doesn’t fit in with the rest of the sounds of the forest at night.

This stumps Shisui for a moment. As he thinks, Itachi tracks the sound of clumsy shinobi sandals, unused to being in the trees. Grass ninja, he thinks, or possibly Sand. There’s nothing for them to practice climbing on or up other than buildings and those are a far cry from trees.

“I know! I Spy!” Shisui exclaims. “I’ll start. I spy with my little eye something… metal!” He disappears from his spot on the branch. Itachi tracks his shunshin thirty yards southwest, hears the chime of his tanto being drawn from its sheath, and waits until he hears the unmistakable sound of a man’s throat being cut and his subsequent death throes before getting up and going for his own prey.

It’s over quickly, the woman not expecting Itachi to appear out of the darkness and so too slow to raise a kunai to block his own. He buries it in her stomach, then quickly draws another across her throat. He doesn’t like to draw out an enemy’s death, no matter how much bad blood there may be between their villages.

“Man, that was easy,” Shisui complains, appearing next to Itachi in a swirl of leaves. “Did they really think we’d be as loud as we were on accident?”

Itachi gives him a judgmental look, wiping his blades on the dead nin’s clothes, but doesn’t deign to respond beyond that. Shisui grumbles to himself as they jump back into their tree and settle in for another few hours of watch duty. Hopefully the rest of their watch will be uneventful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is the end of Moyashi! The next one will be up... eventually?


End file.
